#7I can see your smiling face
Represented on a glowing screen
And I press delete,
As if it would erase the ghost of you.
Enough For YouI love the way your eyes seem way too big for your head, and that look you give when lingering on the cusp of an opinionated rant. Don't get me wrong, you're far from perfect, but you have this ability to pull my lips into a smile. And I could get lost in yours.
And we argue over stupid things like
What happens after we die
As if that somehow matters.
Then you just drop my sentences like used matchsticks into your fire of undeniable faith, and reach for the Slivovitz.
And sometimes I feel more than hard to love. Sometimes your grand adventures throw a perspective that I am not enough. And then you ask why I'm still always sad.
And when I'm reminded of him, always him, and my eyes are veiled and you lose count of the droplets clinging to my eyelashes, your voice is torturously tender; "I couldn't hurt you like he did".
It hurts to fall in love with all these little pieces of you. It hurts to feel my scars slowly fading into memories like ships in the night.
Because I know I'm not enough
And Then YouTonight I don't want to be alone. The dark, an emptiness full of unknowns, threatens my dim and wavering existence. Because I'm so small in everything and still not small enough to go unnoticed. And my head is full of so many regrets that roll like crashing waves.
Deep in my heart of hearts and soul of souls I see blue eyes- bright, painful memory and sharp lies and malcontent. Brown eyes- the things I did to start again and inadequacy and loss. Staring and soulless from the sockets of who I used to know. And my memories churn like turbulent seas, and roll like crashing waves.
All I can picture is this feeling of not being enough. I need to move on but maybe it's the past that's not letting go of me. Maybe I've tried to fight it. Maybe it's all too much.
I'm so meaningless and small and yet they won't let me slip away. I'm so lonely and they won't let me be alone.
And then there was you.
Bucolic SuffocationI'm getting kind of tired of this bucolic town, where nothing ever changes and everything is full of stale memories.
And I'm getting really sick of those arrogant people who breeze in and out, and make me feel inadequate with the life I'm living. In an indirect way, I suppose you were one of them.
At the moment, I'd do anything to be happy, even if it means leaving everything behind,just to have an excuse to never say your name again.
The night, The lighthouseThe night is so long. The night is so long and I hardly sleep without him here. It's nights like these that I had him close to where my fragile heart was beating.
The night is so long and lonely, and my life sometimes feels like an anomaly or an oblivion. Oh eternal universe, so endless and beautiful, oh time, my old friend. Please let me slip away.
On nights like this one I could touch the beauty of forever, that fleeting and perfect thing. On nights like this I was in love, for how could I not have loved him and his easy, wan smile?
The night is so long. I have spent these days in the dark. A year without the sun. A year without my love. Those with words more beautiful than my own have said it, that love is so short and oblivion so long.
The night is eternal for me. There will be no sun while he is not with me. Without him,
Without him I just try to stop the days from hurting.
I try to keep the pain away from me.
The night is so long and I am afraid of the dar
StrengthStrength is knowing that no one can hit me as hard as I've hit myself. I've pulled myself apart and become my own worst enemy. I've hurt myself more than anyone else ever could. And I'm starting to realize that I can't make myself good enough for you. I can't be everything you need or anything you want. So the days pass me by like razor blades and bruising blows. There is no comfort for me. And there's nothing to make the days stop hurting. All I get is that one moment held against you. One moment when all the voices in my head go silent. One moment when I'm not constantly refreshing the feelings of my own inadequacy. That's all there is for me.
Together in what might have beenYou're my
and I am your
Together in curses
without you it seems
to float away
and I can't find
my way back home
Last lamentYour face burns behind my eyes.
I feel myself begin to cry,
because you were everything to me.
and you and I just couldn't be.
An iron lump in my throat,
feel like I'm about to choke.
Hands go cold, knees give way.
Haven't seen you since that day.
I can still smell you in the air.
Feel my fingers running through your hair.
I can hear you say you love me so.
I can taste the regrets of letting go.
There wasn't room in your life for me,
and all the things we could be.
Bitter symphonies of cold lament,
the words I wish you never meant.
Memories bitter on my tongue,
all our moments, every one.
The taste of you in my mouth,
I'm fading, falling, going out.
And silent secrets are all I see,
with the priceless things we won't be.
Your face burns behind my eyes.
Still can't believe it was all lies.
I'm sorry, my darling, for making you bleed.I want to tell you
all my worries inside.
cold regrets and
my dearest one,
I want it to be yours again.
And I don't think I can
looking for you in empty places
getting my hopes up
that you'll see me
and want me
Loving you hurt me.
when you couldn't be there.
But leaving you hurt more.
It was pain,
pure and unadulterated.
And I know my apologies
floating away on
But I'm still yours
I promised you I would be.
I'm yours even when
you aren't mine.
And I always will be.
I know I stuffed up.
I made a mistake.
I know I don't deserve you.
But darling I can't forget about you;
You once said I was the only one for you.
And I want you to believe that again.
Tony x Reader - Jar of Hearts
WORD OF WARNING!! CONTAINS FEELS!
I know I can't
take one more step
towards you. Cause
all that's waiting
You walked down the streets of Manhatten, and you phone buzzed in your pocket. You were just finishing up your nightly jog.
"Hey babe. <3"
It was Tony.
"Hey! What's up?" You texted back.
"Nothing much. Just doing stupid paperwork that Fury assigned, so I won't be done for a while."
You smirked and texted,
"That sucks. See you in a few. Love ya! <3" You turned off your phone, and jogged to the Tower.
And don't you
know I'm not your
ghost anymore. You
lost the love I
loved the most.
You walked into the Tower, seeing Natasha and Clint cuddling on the couch, watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith. You smiled at them, and you walked to the elevator.
"Miss, might I suggest you not going to Tony's room?" JARVIS asked. You frowned and asked confused,
I learned to live,
half alive. And now
you want me one more,
time. And who do you
Bucky x Teen!Runaway!Reader Part 2
PLEASE READ THE LAST CHAPTER TO UNDERSTAND THIS ONE!!!
"That was about 24 years ago. I was 12. Now I'm 15, almost 16. That man was the only person I trusted in a long time. His name was John, John Keller I think. He was about 21 when we met but the first five months I was with him, he died. I've been running since. No stops, never slept in the same place twice...Then HYRDA came, and offered me a job. I declined. It was the worst mistake of my life. They kidnapped me, tutored me, shoved me, and almost made me go mentally insane. Then, that's when they brain-washed me. They strapped me to a hard, leather chair, and took everything away from me...Even the only memories of my mom. They stuck me into a Cyro Freezer almost 24 years ago. I'll admit, I'm old lady. But I escaped from them. 3 years, two months, and 16 days days I've been away. And I've been slowly getting my memories back. But not in the ways I would have hoped. I get Night Terrors every single night. Not ever a
daughter on the stepstool I count the cracks in between the blocks of cement as I walk, eyes downcast. Sets of two, sets of two. I can never quite shake the way my bones don’t sit right under my skin, too big for my body. It’s a constant itch that I can’t scratch, only mollified when I listen, when I listen to what it tells me. My disease tells me to count in sets of two—blink four times, two sets of two. I don’t understand, but those numbers are safety in a storm. They ruin me, though. They ruin me. I hide behind mathematical equations that account for sets of two, and I leave her to drown.
These are my hands, but they’re really just earthquakes. I am not afraid to crumble anything that gets in my way, and it’s always her. She always tries to stop me, tells me she loves me after calling me fucked up. Fucked up. I lose sleep because sometimes I dream in shades that I do not like. Blue, like her eyes. One syllable, half of a set. A ghost
Amber SunrisesI’m not entirely sure yet. You know, why bad things happen all the time. I’m kind of just here trying to figure all of this out myself. Why suns rise and set, why life comes into this world, and why it always has to end. I sat outside. That darkish blue color was in the sky again. It’s always in the sky. It’s like it never really goes away. And I guess it doesn’t because apparently the blue in the sky is just a reflection of the ocean. I woke up at 6:30am today. And I couldn’t go back to sleep. So I went outside. It was cold outside. The refreshing kind though. It was like a bitter sweet kind of wind and it tussled with the knots in my hair for a little while until they both calmed down and went in their respected directions. There was nobody else outside and it was quiet. I almost fell back asleep until I saw the sun starting to rise. So I climbed up onto the roof to get a better look at this amber fire. I almost fell off but I didn’t (I
fragmenti am cheap and easily bought; i come complete with bruises and the built-in urge to run away.
TrappedWe were both trapped in a queue of cars, four lanes on the motorway. It was 8am on a Friday and rush hour was creeping forward at a twelfth of the speed that it usually did. People sighed, some moaned, others dipped their hands lazily out of their windows catching the cool morning breeze. We were both there, you and I. My car crept forward almost as if it wasn't moving at all, my eyes focused on the road ahead, concentrating on the car in front - one eye on the van behind. It was one of those roads where the curves dropped away around a bend and into nothing. People craned their necks trying to see what was up ahead, what was keeping everyone back from their mundane mornings at their desks. I didn't want to look. But we were both there, stuck in the queue.
I flicked the radio stations to see if there was a news update, red lights cleared as the crowd inched forward again. Lane one, then two then three merged into four as flashing lights and signs warned them of an obstruction. Brake li
Through a lover's eyesWow, I don't even know where to start... How do you describe someone like that, when words or images alone are simply not enough? She is just the most exquisite bundle of mischief I have ever, and probably will ever meet. Hell, she's a cocky wee git on good days, but even on the bad days she still has this amazing, fierce intelligence that I can only liken to the lightening that illuminates a storm, even if only for a brief moment. And though it does get to me a bit at times, I really do admire the wicked, almost sick sense of humour that appears along with that subtle dimple below the edge of her lips. Nothing has ever completely smothered that little spark; not even when she lay in that hospital bed, barely conscious from the cocktail of drugs she'd attempted to take her own life with. It has got her in trouble a few times; giggling at inappropriate moments, but I would far rather that than watching the light leave her eyes.
It does make me sad; the repeated suicide attempts. I mean,
The Sacrifice of the HeroA Beautiful girl is sitting at a corner, the sand colored bricks of the wall, contrasting heavily with her tanned, smooth skin.
The sun is burning hot and bright, reflecting of the pearls of sweat rolling down her curled brow.
Her eyes are wide open, her lips are quivering… her lips are moving, speaking words unheard.
No…that is not it, it’s a scream, a scream and a cry for help, in a alien language.
Drowned out by the long and sharp rounds of ammunition hailing into the wall beside her, bouncing of the sand and dust covering the street, a sharp metallic clang echoing around the buildings as they ricochet.
She looks to her left, there she see her people, the people that wanted it THEIR way, and no other, the people that found guns and ammunition, and had no hesitation using them.
To her right she sees pale men, pale and dressed in weird foreign camo clothing, with flags sewed onto their arms, belonging to countries so far away, holding weapons that look big and scary.
RunningI've never wanted to run away so much. Just keep running, until I can taste blood in my mouth and breathing hurts and you are so very far away. You stare blankly, and make my heart howl like a wild animal as it attacks my chest and fights against the bonds holding it in. Your gaze is steady, you know how much pain it's causing me. Your lips in a half smile as you bask in my pain. My vision blurs as A fresh batch of tears collects in my eyes, glazing them with my sadness. And you're still smiling, so proud of yourself. So gleeful at the fact that you inflicted this.