Never Without YouSince the day we met
I have never lived without you.
Even since you left, clutching my beating heart
there has been a part of you
even when I'm almost content
there this shadow upon me,
cast by the memory of us
And I am sick, so sick
sick of the taste of you.
#7I can see your smiling face
Represented on a glowing screen
And I press delete,
As if it would erase the ghost of you.
Enough For YouI love the way your eyes seem way too big for your head, and that look you give when lingering on the cusp of an opinionated rant. Don't get me wrong, you're far from perfect, but you have this ability to pull my lips into a smile. And I could get lost in yours.
And we argue over stupid things like
What happens after we die
As if that somehow matters.
Then you just drop my sentences like used matchsticks into your fire of undeniable faith, and reach for the Slivovitz.
And sometimes I feel more than hard to love. Sometimes your grand adventures throw a perspective that I am not enough. And then you ask why I'm still always sad.
And when I'm reminded of him, always him, and my eyes are veiled and you lose count of the droplets clinging to my eyelashes, your voice is torturously tender; "I couldn't hurt you like he did".
It hurts to fall in love with all these little pieces of you. It hurts to feel my scars slowly fading into memories like ships in the night.
Because I know I'm not enough
And Then YouTonight I don't want to be alone. The dark, an emptiness full of unknowns, threatens my dim and wavering existence. Because I'm so small in everything and still not small enough to go unnoticed. And my head is full of so many regrets that roll like crashing waves.
Deep in my heart of hearts and soul of souls I see blue eyes- bright, painful memory and sharp lies and malcontent. Brown eyes- the things I did to start again and inadequacy and loss. Staring and soulless from the sockets of who I used to know. And my memories churn like turbulent seas, and roll like crashing waves.
All I can picture is this feeling of not being enough. I need to move on but maybe it's the past that's not letting go of me. Maybe I've tried to fight it. Maybe it's all too much.
I'm so meaningless and small and yet they won't let me slip away. I'm so lonely and they won't let me be alone.
And then there was you.
Bucolic SuffocationI'm getting kind of tired of this bucolic town, where nothing ever changes and everything is full of stale memories.
And I'm getting really sick of those arrogant people who breeze in and out, and make me feel inadequate with the life I'm living. In an indirect way, I suppose you were one of them.
At the moment, I'd do anything to be happy, even if it means leaving everything behind,just to have an excuse to never say your name again.
The night, The lighthouseThe night is so long. The night is so long and I hardly sleep without him here. It's nights like these that I had him close to where my fragile heart was beating.
The night is so long and lonely, and my life sometimes feels like an anomaly or an oblivion. Oh eternal universe, so endless and beautiful, oh time, my old friend. Please let me slip away.
On nights like this one I could touch the beauty of forever, that fleeting and perfect thing. On nights like this I was in love, for how could I not have loved him and his easy, wan smile?
The night is so long. I have spent these days in the dark. A year without the sun. A year without my love. Those with words more beautiful than my own have said it, that love is so short and oblivion so long.
The night is eternal for me. There will be no sun while he is not with me. Without him,
Without him I just try to stop the days from hurting.
I try to keep the pain away from me.
The night is so long and I am afraid of the dar
StrengthStrength is knowing that no one can hit me as hard as I've hit myself. I've pulled myself apart and become my own worst enemy. I've hurt myself more than anyone else ever could. And I'm starting to realize that I can't make myself good enough for you. I can't be everything you need or anything you want. So the days pass me by like razor blades and bruising blows. There is no comfort for me. And there's nothing to make the days stop hurting. All I get is that one moment held against you. One moment when all the voices in my head go silent. One moment when I'm not constantly refreshing the feelings of my own inadequacy. That's all there is for me.
Together in what might have beenYou're my
and I am your
Together in curses
without you it seems
to float away
and I can't find
my way back home
Last lamentYour face burns behind my eyes.
I feel myself begin to cry,
because you were everything to me.
and you and I just couldn't be.
An iron lump in my throat,
feel like I'm about to choke.
Hands go cold, knees give way.
Haven't seen you since that day.
I can still smell you in the air.
Feel my fingers running through your hair.
I can hear you say you love me so.
I can taste the regrets of letting go.
There wasn't room in your life for me,
and all the things we could be.
Bitter symphonies of cold lament,
the words I wish you never meant.
Memories bitter on my tongue,
all our moments, every one.
The taste of you in my mouth,
I'm fading, falling, going out.
And silent secrets are all I see,
with the priceless things we won't be.
Your face burns behind my eyes.
Still can't believe it was all lies.
A short story The darkness was comforting for some reason, I usually like bright places more.
But this was something exciting, something that rarely ever happened; a power outage. Life had always been boring, it was nice to have something special happen every once in a while.
I sat in front of an oil lamp, wrapped in a thick blanket. I was glad school got canceled because of all that snow outside.
I held up a piece of paper and giggled.
My dad entered the room. “What are you drawing?” he asked as he came closer.
“My little ponies,” I replied. I handed him the silly drawings of ponies, my poor attempts at making fun of a kids’ TV show. He chuckled at the sight and simply left.
A few minutes later while I continued drawing, my dad came back. He had his tablet. Fortunately he fully charged it before the power outage. He pulled a chair and sat next to me, showing me the season 1 premiere of My Lit
MenschseinManchmal, wenn mir alles zu viel wird, schließe ich die Augen.
Ich verdränge die Ansprüche, die an mich gestellt werden und ignoriere die Zweifel. Ich überhöre die Forderungen und Befehle und umgehe jegliche Verantwortung.
Manchmal brauche ich diese Ruhe einfach und muss ich mich an das erinnern, was mein Leben so lebenswert macht… an die kleinen Dinge, die uns alle verbinden.
Das dunkle Prasseln von Regen gegen unsere Fenster.
Die letzte Note eines Liedes, das verklingt, kurz bevor wir einschlafen.
Der Geruch eines neuen Buches, der die Luft erfüllt, wie in einer antiken Bibliothek.
Die Erschöpfung nach einem langen Lauf, die uns vor Stolz fast platzen lässt.
Der pochende Muskelkater, an dem wir die nächsten Tage leiden werden.
Die Erleichterung, wenn wir feststellen, dass wir noch 3 Stunden schlafen können.
Der Geschmack von überzuckertem Kakao nach einem nie endenden Tag.
Das Knallen von Luftpolsterfolie zwischen unseren F
How to succeed in...(fill in the blank)Classroom notes...seriously.
Have a sense of gratitude. If you don't appreciate what you have how will you feel when harder times come? Saying thank you can have drastic effects too for a person's day.
Build a brand. (This was in a classroom. I won't explain the boring part of what a brand is, but pretty much it means attach yourself and what you do to something bigger than yourself and grow along with that thing.
“There are no shortcuts in the places worth going.” The statement here is a direct quote, and it's a good one. You want something worth it to you personally? Don't take a short cut. Earn it. It will make achieving that place or that thing all the more enjoyable to you when you get there.
“It doesn’t matter how smart you are, or how strong you are. It is a matter of will. Will is what separates humans from other humans.” To me this means if you don’t have a will, no matter what your gifts are, you fail. It doesn't matter if you are st
PlanlosDarf ich ehrlich sein?
Ich hab keine Ahnung was ich hier mache.
Man hat mir gesagt, dass der einfache Teil meines Lebens bald vorbei sein wird. Die sorgenlose Unbeschwertheit der Jugend würde über Nacht von mir genommen werden und dann müsse ich mich zusammenreißen.
Unbeschwertheit? Ich bin verzweifelt! Jeden Tag ein bisschen mehr!
Ich werde immer wieder daran erinnert, dass es nur noch bergab geht. Und ich bin nicht unbedingt auf dem Hochpunkt in meinem Leben, an dem ich das nachvollziehen könnte!
Jeden Tag lerne ich Dinge, die mir nur wieder zeigen, wie lebensunfähig ich eigentlich bin.
Binomialverteilungen statt Steuererklärungen.
Die Analyse rhetorischer Mittel statt der Kunst einen Antrag an eine deutsche Behörde zu stellen.
Und wer braucht Kenntnisse zu seinen eigenen Rechten, wo man doch bestens über den evolutionären Werdegang des Waldbaumläufers im Bilde ist?!
Ich weiß nicht mal wie lange man Nudeln kocht und mal ganz
Honesty and Revelations~
I will not die this day~
I have spoken with myself~
I know what I am~
I have seen and experienced it all, from witnessing murder to committing it, I am no longer afraid to admit my sin's, so ask away if you are more curious~
There is so much most will never experience, and i pray that they never do~
Despite how unlucky my life has been i have grown from that, I have become far more powerful than I would ever have been if not for those events~
I seek the power I deserve, and everyone should~
Being modest gets us nowhere, so give it all or go home~
Isolation really makes you think, makes you realise how much you miss physical contact, passionate or other.
Love has become a need, but its also a fear for me~
A feeling of pain in my chest, the threat of fresh tears forming in my eye's and the terrible feeling of rejection looming ahead makes something so serious impossible.
Along with the thought of knowing you will either be left by that loved one, forced to watch them be happy without you
RunningI've never wanted to run away so much. Just keep running, until I can taste blood in my mouth and breathing hurts and you are so very far away. You stare blankly, and make my heart howl like a wild animal as it attacks my chest and fights against the bonds holding it in. Your gaze is steady, you know how much pain it's causing me. Your lips in a half smile as you bask in my pain. My vision blurs as A fresh batch of tears collects in my eyes, glazing them with my sadness. And you're still smiling, so proud of yourself. So gleeful at the fact that you inflicted this.